It’s been months, oh my goodness am I sorry, I knew I could never manage to blog everyday… but I thought I would at least update it more than I have… BUT SO BLOODY MUCH HAS HAPPENED.
Christmas is 6 days away, Amber has only brought one present and yet I still feel I’m doing well, wow amber, wow.
But see if that was me this time last year I would literally be a quivering wreck, terrified of how many things I had left to do but how have I changed so drastically?
Well last time I blogged I think I was explaining my excitement for my travels to Glastonbury Festival (SHOWS HOW LONG I’VE PROCRASTINATED WRITING ON HERE.) Did you find yourself there? Did you discover beautiful things? Well yes and no… I saw many a wonderful band and danced till I could dance no more, but yet also realized again how much I enjoy cider, maybe a bit too much.
So no it wasn’t the festival that changed me, but I fell in love this year, I fell in love with a guy (he is my boyfriend now, this isn’t a weird stalker situation promise.) Then I fell in love with myself – little PSA i’m not like obsessed with myself or fancy myself or anything like that, it’s a nice kinda snuggly love.
The girl who would buy her clothes two sizes two big, just so they would fully cover everything and hide every lump and bump managed to wear dresses, some rather tight!! She managed to cosplay as a character she had been in love with for a long while but was way too terrified even at the thought of dressing as her, the of course crazy Harley Quinn! Then I somehow maybe went a bit mad and went to MCM London Comic Con in just a leotard… it was very very very cold in October so probably wasn’t the best decision but if you had told me that I was going to do that during May MCM, I would of ran from you very VERY quickly and thought you were a total weirdo as back in May, the thought of that would of made me totally sick!!
I break into happy tears at the thought of how things have changed, I spent May MCM with my younger brother, not knowing a soul and not even knowing excel had a green? I was more than happy and over excited just about being with my brother surrounded by incredible cosplayers, I thought that was as good as it got! Yet October MCM I spent surrounded by tons of friends, some new best friends! I stayed all weekend with two lovely friends who I now consider older brothers to me and spending it all with my boyfriend, whom without I would still be that girl who would look at models and weep that I did’t look like them, I would be terrified of what people thought of me and any kind of love for myself was non existent. Basically I’m the luckiest girl in the planet to have a guy who treats me like a total princess and is in love with all of what I once thought was horrendous flaws (if you’re reading this, I really bloody love you <3)
So my lovely lovely wonderful friend, we maybe close or I may not even know your name, but you are so truly gorgeous. You have a mouth and even just by giving a cheeky little smile because you saw something that made you chuckle online, that really brightens the world, Christmas is an incredibly materialistic time of year which obviously christmas would not be christmas without, I love seeing my loved ones reactions to gifts, its bloody lovely making people happy!! But you being here on this earth is a gift to me, to your family and to this world, you bring something nobody else does, AS NOBODY ELSE IS YOU!! So you wear what you want, you dance around to cheesy songs and it’s really bloody okay to have a good cry at the John Lewis advert (I did) and I hope if you ever struggle to find love in yourself that you one day can dig right inside and find it (there’s like a little bunny inside with that self love, ya just gotta find it, it’s hopping around in there!!)
I bloody love you and I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I could be back next week or in another god knows how many months. Have a wonderful christmas you deserve it and thank you for hanging on in there through whats been a rather rough you for the world, total trooper x
Love and gingerbread hugs,